No, I’m not responsible for what strangers tweet
No, I’m not responsible for the tweets, or indeed actions, of strangers. I don’t care if they’re one of the however many people I’ve had a selfie with, who’ve come over and said “hi”, bought me a pint, or (in the most recent case) given me cat treats for my two hyperactive Burmese pusses in the three minutes we’ve met. Neither am I responsible for the tweets of the 5,459 people I follow on twitter — yes, a hilariously unmanageable large number — who range from Tory MPs and hard right commentators to left-wing piss-taking activists who tweet a lot about their cats. And no, if I’ve tweeted something nice about them because they were nice to me, or because I’ve seen them post something miserable that’s appeared on my timeline, I’m still not responsible for their tweets, whether in the past or, even more comically, long after I’ve met them.
Why am I having to type this. Oh don’t you worry, I’m asking myself the same question. According to a particularly obsessive faction on twitter, who really need to find other hobbies — I’m honestly not that interesting guys, ask my exes — I’m now no longer responsible just for my own tweets, oh no, but for anyone I have ever met, however fleetingly. Furthermore, it used to be the case that ‘retweets don’t mean endorsements’, but now apparently simply following someone means you are signing an unwritten contract that you are personally responsible for anything they tweet for the rest of time.
As it happens, someone I fleetingly met about two years ago while touring the country has indeed tweeted something completely and utterly unacceptable. This is now being circulated as something I am somehow responsible for by the very same people who, in some cases, seem to find something about me to tweet every single day of their lives. (Some of them like to tell me how irrelevant I am — please, please embrace my irrelevance!) Indeed, things tweeted by people I don’t actually know long after I’ve had conversations with them ranging between 10 seconds and 3 minutes in duration have now apparently become the latest line of attack, joining the ranks of politely replying to people making serious and entirely untrue accusations (or frankly sneezing at this point) as “whipping up abusive pile ons!”
If you’re bemused and don’t know what I’m writing about, please get on with your lives. If you do and are complicit in this line of attack, let me make this clear, now and until the end of time: I am not responsible for things said or tweeted by people I don’t even know, I never will be, and I’m not going to indulge this absolutely unhinged new line of attack ever again, so please, fill your boots with your utterly ridiculous behaviour (and no, that is not a pile on either).
Over and out!
